Networking – The take and give

Last time we discussed that networking is every interaction you have with any other person. True; as far as it goes. That discussion was about getting your message out. It was the “all about me” part of the message; getting out your message.


If everybody was standing in a room getting out their message, there would be a lot of noise, but where would that message be going? Nowhere. Everyone would be so absorbed about their needs they would not be able to pay attention to anyone else’s needs and they might miss some information that would be very useful for them. Listening is the second part of networking.

Networking involves communication. Communication in its simplest form requires a conveyer of a message, a speaker, and a receiver of the message, a listener. If you do not have those two components, you do not have communication and the purpose of networking has been defeated. The two rolls switch back and forth in a conversation.

The speaker’s job is obvious, to get the message out in a way that the listener can understand. At the very least this means a common social language. Using techno-speak on a lay person will come across to the listener as so much babble. But the listener has an important job, too. The listener needs to listen actively.

What does it mean to “listen actively?” It means that as you listen to the speaker you ask for clarifications or explanations of what the speaker is saying. You repeat back to the speaker what you have heard. When you do this the speaker becomes the listener and identifies areas that need more explanation and areas where your understanding needs to be validated. After the listener has asked his questions or repeated his understanding the original speaker returns to his role as speaker and answers the listener’s questions and validates his understanding. During this process the speaker makes his needs and desires known. The listener may be able to help him achieve these goals or offer suggestions on how he can achieve these goals or know of some way in which he can achieve these goals.

Afterwards the original listener becomes the dominant speaker and expresses his desires and needs and the process is repeated. At the end we have had a conversation and if each party has done their job well, we have an understanding of what is motivating each party and if everyone is even more fortunate we may find that we can help one another. And if we actually are able to help each other we have made that perfect connection.

The relationship may take time to develop. There may need to be many encounters before either party achieves their desired result. More than talking, people need to see you in action. How do you work? How do you respond to people when you are not “on”? In the end, if you have a message that resonates with others you will achieve your goal. Patience is the final part of networking.

Networking

Networking. what is it and how does it work?


We have “networking” groups these days and many people think that is what is meant by networking. When you are with or in these groups you are networking. As far as that goes they are correct. But it is not the only form of networking.

Actually every interaction you have with any other person, whether by word or deed, is networking. You never know how what you say or do will travel and affect someone. And you never know how far a word or action may travel.

We are social animals and, to a large extent, our survival is dependent on our interactions with one another. Some interactions are positive and some negative, but each interaction leaves behind an effect on everyone that action has touched. If we lash out negatively at someone, whether in pain, frustration, fear or anger, we can be pretty sure that will set up a chain of negative reactions to us individually and possibly to what caused us to lash out. But if we raise our vibration and look at the circumstances calmly, we may find a way to turn this internal reaction to something positive and not set up the negative chain.

Most of our interactions are neutral; neither negative nor positive. While negative experiences may stay with us for some time, positive experiences may stay with us for very short times unless they are reinforced with other, related positive experiences. Thus while a confrontation in the check-out line at the grocery store may stay with us for several hours, a pleasant interlude with the person next to us in the same line is likely to be forgotten before we get to our car.

The trick in networking is to make every encounter as positive and memorable as possible. A smile, a personal connection is a start. An exchange of business cards is reinforcement. If a need can be identified and met an additional connection is made. Enough of these interactions and a relationship is established. This may lead to a connection that helps you to build your business. This, too, is networking.

The conversations you have after making a speech are also networking activities.

Look closely at your business. Where are your ideal customers? Wherever they are is where you need to be. Will your networking activities work best in networking groups, making speeches or some other activity? Do not limit your perceptions of what constitutes networking. Just reach out and “touch” someone.