Courage, Heroes and Heart

We all know what a hero is, or do we? We all know what courage is, or do we? We all know what it means to have heart, or do we?


It is easy to see the courage heroism and heart displayed by our combat troops, police and firemen.

It’s a little harder to see the courage and heroism of the single mother struggling to support her family without any help from the children’s father. She will do the best she can for them. Her heart will let her do no less.

There’s the courage to scale the tallest mountains in spite of the dangers. Why? Because it’s there! These are people we admire; heroes. But they will tell you they are not heroes, they just had to do it. When they got to the top, their hearts sang with their accomplishment.

We see the courageous terminal patients who fight for every breath of life they can get. We honor them as heroes. But do we see the courage and heroism of the family of those same patients as they struggle to support them to the end? Do we see the courage it takes for them to move on after the battle is lost? Probably not so much. But they are equally heroic. They may think that their heart will break, but somehow they find the courage to continue on with their lives afterwards.

We all know more examples in a similar vein. But these are not the courageous heroes that I want to acknowledge here.

I want to write about the breadwinner who has been out of work for weeks, months or longer, who is wondering where he will get the money to feed, shelter and clothe his family if a job doesn’t come along real soon. This person gets up every day and works the phone, networking with every contact possible and when he runs out of those he scours the papers and job boards to land that job. Still no luck. [I have used the male pronoun in this article, but these situations are not gender specific.] He might like to give up, but something won’t let him. He has so much love for his family, too much heart to give up and that heart has given him purpose. So he keeps plugging. Eventually he gets that job. It might not have him making the same money that he was making before, but he has a job. He can take care of himself and his family. He has purpose once again.

But maybe he doesn’t get a job. Then what does he do? He takes stock of himself. He assesses what skills he does have, what skills he can acquire without too much time or money and looks for something else to do. Maybe it is a job he would have never considered but for his present circumstances. Maybe he is very fortunate and his skills apply to another career that he will find more satisfying; more rewarding. Now, even though he keeps his eye out for the job he originally wanted, he widens his search and eventually finds something outside of his original career field. Hopefully it’s better. Maybe it’s not. But he is once again, able to take care of his family, so he throws his heart into the new job, new career, with enthusiasm and courage. Maybe he finds that this new job gives him more satisfaction, inner peace than that old job. Maybe losing that old job has turned out to be a blessing.

There are people who are no longer able to work. Maybe they are no longer able to take care of themselves. People who dependent on others to take care of them. They probably don’t like their circumstances, but they make peace with it. They continue because life is still sweet; still to be enjoyed. They accept, in their heart that others will be helping them, maybe for the rest of their lives. But their tragedy gives other people purpose and work. So they learn to accept the help graciously and learn to experience life from a different perspective. They embrace whole heartedly what they can do and learn to let go of what is no longer possible. How courageous! How heroic!

I have had a song playing in my head for a couple of weeks now. It is an old standard called “My Foolish Hear”. The song really has nothing to do with this post, except that it has been replaced by another song, one from the musical Damn Yankees called “You Gotta Have Heart” and that song has everything to do with this blog. Look it up. I hope it provides a little inspiration to you. It has to me.

We are all courageous in our own way. If we give of our skills, our passions and our love we are deserving of the title hero. Perhaps you know of someone deserving of this title. Someone who gives quietly and without reservation or thought of reward, passing on whole heartedly to their families and community what is in their heart to give. If so, write to me about them. Share it in this blog or write to my email address. I’d love to hear their story.

Authentic Purpose Found

I had occasion today to observe someone who has obviously found her purpose in life and is very committed to what she does. Amazing!


I volunteer for a hospice organization in my area. I have one patient I visit weekly, spending about three hours with her on each visit.

When I arrived today I was told that they were trying to reach the nurse assigned to the patient by the hospice organization. There had been a development that needed some attention. Surprising, to me, the nurse didn’t call to discuss the situation, but instead showed up on their doorstep in about 90 minutes!

The nurse examined the patient and then discussed what she saw with the patient and her daughter. Although the nurse undoubtedly had a full schedule when she started her day, she never acted like this visit was a bother or a strain on her time. She, the patient and the patient’s daughter discussed the situation and the course that needed to be followed. The nurse also indicated that she would follow up with the patient’s primary care physician when she left. She went over everything two or three times, each time just as easy and thoroughly as the first. She listened to what they had to say and discussed her conclusions and why and, again, iterated what actions she was going to take concerning the matter. Altogether she spent a little more than half an hour with the patient. The whole time she was there her manner was competent, professional, reassuring, friendly, and congenial. WOW! Authenticity at its best!

This is a person doing what she was meant to do. She is living her life’s purpose and she is doing it authentically, compassionately and purposefully. What an inspiration! If she can do it, so can we all!

Skirting the Problem

You just want to go in and do your job but you are surrounded by colleagues who spend their time gossiping and complaining about the boss, the job, the deadlines, something, anything. Then there are those who just never seem to pull their weight and you end up doing some part of their job as well as your own. It makes you crazy! You want to work in an environment where people get along, and work as a team, where everyone pulls their weight. Wake up! You are living in Fantasyland! There just ain’t no such place!

People are going to be people no matter where you go. Happiness comes from within. Those external issues that keep you from enjoying your job are just a diversion. You are skirting the real problem. You are not aligned with what you are doing.

It’s time to take a look at what is really going on within you. It is time to align with your purpose; acknowledge your authentic self. Those little irritations are a nudge telling you to look deeper.

Maybe you are in the right career and just need a change in perspective.

Maybe you are in the right career field but need to be looking at a different aspect of it.

Maybe this is not the career that is aligned with your purpose.

How do you discover which it is? You go within. By discovering what gives you peace, contentment, a sense of purpose, a sense of alignment. Discover the authentic you. Once you do and once you bring yourself into alignment with that authenticity, all those irritations we talked about above will disappear from our view. Oh, they will still exist, for others who are unaligned, but if there is nothing for you to look at, there will be nothing for you to see.

Being Authentic

Being true to our personality, character and spirit. It’s a lofty ideal, but not so easily attained.


Recently I was told a story about a couple who had attained the American Dream. They had worked hard and were very successful; big house, expensive cars, nice vacations, lots of money, multimillionaires. They’re getting a divorce. Why? They found that they weren’t happy living the American Dream.

A former colleague told me another story about a big time executive that had been laid off. Instead of looking for another position in Corporate America, he had started a business in physical training. She said he was making a lot less money, but was far happier.

These two stories are by no means unique. The recession has many people reassessing their lives and their priorities. That includes trading in their old careers for new ones; ones without the fancy title, big money or prestige. People are learning how to make what they have go further and that they can do with far less than they used to think they could and they are happier for it.

How about you? If you’ve lost your job and are looking for another, do you want to go back to the same type of work? Did it make you happy? Forget whether the boss was happy. Were you happy? If you are one of the lucky ones who kept your job, are you happy? Are you doing more but hating to get out of bed in the morning knowing what you will face at the office? The stress. The lack of appreciation. Are you constantly aware that you could be terminated on a whim?

Maybe now is the time to take a look at your career. If it isn’t giving you a sense of purpose and a sense of accomplishment are you being authentic? Maybe you should be looking for a new career. More on that later.